sign the divorce papers that same day. She
requested me to pray for her sister’s welfare.
I insisted on talking to her sister, and we duly
spoke on the phone. I asked her the reasons for
her decision, and she had some complaints. After
hearing her out, I told her that her problem was
not significant enough to warrant a divorce. And
that the differences they had were mainly due to
her heightened sensitivity. She had complained
that her husband never listened to her, and it was
she who always had to listen to him.
I gave her many examples to show her that
life does not function on a bilateral basis. It is
rather run on a unilateral basis, and she was no
exception to this rule. This principle has been
called Qawwamiat, or bossism in the Qur ’an
(4:34), i.e. just as there is a boss or a manager in a
company or an institution; in every home, too,
there is a boss or a manager. This is a natural law,
and is not related to gender equality or inequality.
If we fail to recognise it, there can be no peace
and harmony either in the home or in any
institution.
The sister listened to my advice, and returned
to her husband. She withdrew her divorce papers
and accepted her husband as her boss, without
An Incident
63
