Woman in Islamic Shari‘ah
11. Success in marriage
~ 248 ~
should live separately after marriage. On the face of
it, this appears to be a good idea. But often the
initial charm wears off, and they feel that their
situation is worse than if they had opted for the
joint family system. I have seen many girls who
managed to wean their husbands away from their
parents. But then after living alone for some time,
life became so burdensome for them that it seemed
little better than a treadmill. In a joint family, a
woman makes only psychological sacrifices,
whereas in a nuclear family it is her whole existence
which is sacrificed. The latter is much more difficult
than the former.
Making an assessment of the woman’s role in
western society, Arnold Toynbee wrote: “Middle-
class woman acquired education and a chance at a
career at the very time she lost her domestic
servants and the unpaid household help of relatives
living in the old, large family; she had to become
either a household drudge or carry the intolerably
heavy load of two simultaneous fulltime jobs.”
206
It is because girls are upset by certain unpleasant
aspects of joint family living that they opt for living
