Woman in Islamic Shari‘ah
11. Success in marriage
~ 250 ~
the beginning of the problem. The children of the
previous wife start to feel they no longer have any
place in their own home. The undercurrent of
tension mounts, leading to a situation which is
disastrous for all concerned.
A child who has his own mother to stand by him
and show him affection feels safe and secure. But
the orphaned child, the stepchild, is never sure of
his ground. Unless his stepmother gives him
constant reassurance in the form of interest and
affection, he is bound to feel neglected and
humiliated. It is the feeling of humiliation which
becomes the most problematic in a joint family. But
there is a simple solution to this imbroglio. The
stepmother must realize that some restraint must be
shown in her display of love for her own off-spring
— something which will do them no harm, because
they are already secure in the knowledge that this is
their own, real mother — and she must also learn to
be more effusive in displaying affection for her
stepchildren.
And
then,
whatever
the
circumstances, keeping her emotions under control
and showing unfailing courtesy at all times helps to
prevent any possible misunderstanding.
