Woman in Islamic Shari‘ah
11. Success in marriage
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11. SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE
WHEN ‘Abdullah ibn ja’far’s daughter was about to
be married, he gave her this piece of advice: ‘O my
daughter, avoid being haughty or making a prestige
issue of anything, for both are keys to the lock of
divorce. Avoid anger and discontent too, for they
engender malice.’
This is the best counsel a father could give his
daughter at the time of her marriage. After the
wedding, she goes to live in another’s home. Now,
instead of living with her own kith and kin, she is
under the roof of people with whom she had no
blood relationship. Where, in her parents home,
displays of anger or arrogance, or other
shortcomings, were overlooked by her parents and
siblings, it is a very different story in her in-law’s
home, where even the smallest of errors may cause
her to fall from grace.
The in-laws do not have the same soft corner for her
that comes naturally to her parents. In the new
house, every action sets off a reaction. There,
overweening pride cannot just be ignored, and no
